The fear of messing up. The fear of not having friends. The fear of being forgotten. The fear of missing out on—*fill in the blank*. This is not a pro tip in HOW to conquer fear…as a matter of fact it’s quite the opposite. It’s my own personal struggle. Having just moved to California, I’m faced with all of the above. But the past few days have taught me something about fear. Each fear leaves you with TWO options. Option 1) to, quite simply, linger in fear or Option 2) face them. Even if you choose to walk away from that fear, annoyingly enough, it will always come back…it may return ten times worse than how you left it too.
So yes, as of late, I have had those fears (and more) bobbing over my head and taunting me. Moving in California because of school has unfolded the fears of messing up in school. Now thankfully, this is definitely something I can work towards avoiding. As a matter of fact, you will find at the end of this post, that ALL of them are things we can work toward. Remember option 2?
When you move to a new state, across the country, with a degree that you and only you graduated from in your whole ENTIRE school, things can get a little lonely. To make things slightly worse, when you graduate a year before your class—well, yeah lonely starts creeping up again. For a while I felt like I had no friends and one of the hardest things I’ve had to do (and am still having to do every minute), is to swallow my pride and just talk to someone. Now you may think, “Well duh Kevyn, that’s what you do when you meet people!”. And honestly, I wish it was easier DONE than said. Even though it can seem quite daunting for a new person in a new place, it IS possible. It’s one of those situations where you do it once, and it just keeps getting easier and easier. I will give credit where credit is due…a friend of mine said this once and it will never leave my mind, “I have friends there, I just haven’t met them yet.” -Jeffrey Brownlow
As selfish as it may sound, leaving friends behind can make you feel like you will be forgotten. Now I’ve been blessed with a few friends that have a special place in my heart that have never failed to show me how eternal our friendship will be and for them I thank God for. But a constant reminder is always important that true friends will never forget and will only feel closer.
That brings me to my last fear. The fear of missing out on…etc. In our separate lives, it is my responsibility and my duty as a good friend (child, sister, girlfriend, etc) to do my part and be present. I’ve found that I can only let myself get lonely for as long as I allow myself to be. Fear is not much different. I can only let myself get scared for as long as I let myself be scared.
For the fears that come with new beginnings and strange places I say, “What can I do about it?”. I’ve chosen to stay busy, do what I can, and find peace in God. He is my friend and confidant even when friends and family fail. If you have fears you have right now, I invite you to face them WITH ME. You are not alone, and WE can turn those fears into joys. I’d like to leave you with two verses that have carried me through.
Be strong & courageous, do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. -Philippians 4:6